June 1 is celebrated as World Parents Day, a day dedicated
to the two most important people of our lives.
Just finished reading a book on Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, where he has
expressed the importance of the role played by his parents in moulding his
personality. Now I am almost done with
the fictional ‘Game of Thrones’ book, which is a vicious attack to the whole
concept of parent-children relationship. In the west, children once become 16,
leave their parents’ house and are on their own. They have no obligations
towards their parents while the parents don’t lose their sleep over their
children’s education, tuition fees and job. Now coming to the quintessential point of
writing this article- I was completely assuaged and possessed by the recent
movie ‘Piku’, which is an honest reflection of the prevalent societal nexus in
our country. It might pertain to
villages and towns, but it has portrayed the modern urban city lifestyle. It
was a pleasant, feel good movie, augmented by the angularities of the three
protagonists. The movie should be watched by both the parents and their
children together.
A country that is so obsessed by the so called ‘demographic
dividend ’(youth centric), Amitabh
Bachchan’s portrayal of Bhaskor
Bhattacharya mirrors the elders’ deep seated fears and insecurities. Mr. Bachchan’s superb acting, his candour
depiction of the character’s preoccupation with his bowel movements is highly
symbolic in nature. Bhaskor is highly
relatable to the elderly in more than one way.
Bhaskor refuses to become irrelevant and scuttled into oblivion. His
recalcitrant insinuations to make himself as much impossible as possible, is a
mere reflection of the various impediments faced by today’s elders. So one must realise that the whole
intractable and sclerotic behaviour, harbours from the insecurities that ‘they’
have in their minds. Age brings with it the licence or the immunity to liberate
oneself from all kinds of inhibitions. ‘They’ become frank, which at times may
appear unpalatable.
In our country, the elders have been subjected to the youth
hegemony for quite some time now. There are umpteen number of TV channels that
pivot around the youth, youth centric movies, a young Indian cricket team, ‘an
aging China and a young India’, etc. which have occupied a space in our sub
conscious mind. For most of us living
far away from our parents, seeing the movie, it brewed an unsettling concoction
of sadness, guilt and regret. It made us introspect of what we have left behind
in the pursuit of happiness. Unlike some, whose lives revolve around the
imaginaries and eccentricities of their old parents, we flew the coop when
‘they’ needed us the most. For families settled in cities and metros like
Delhi, Mumbai or Bangalore, they can still live with their parents. But for
most of us, who are from towns or small cities, where there is dearth of career
growth and opportunities, it becomes inevitable to move into the big cities.
I would like to share my own experience here. I have resided
in Delhi, Bangalore and Mumbai, but I love Bhubaneswar a lot. As compared to
these hustling- bustling metros, Bhubaneswar has a characteristic innate
tranquillity. It boats an envious infrastructure- wide roads, less traffic,
good educational institutes, a decent night life, etc. But once we finish our
education, we are indelibly dragged into the corporate rat race. We espouse a
life style that is goal oriented and career driven. Our
minds are marred by a myriad apprehensions- “ In order to climb the corporate
ladder, I need to be present at the thick of the action (metros). What if these comforts and opulence are
ephemeral and that I would eventually get bored”. When your friends are all working
outside, it becomes a matter of indignation staying in Bhubaneswar with your
parents (albeit you stay in a bungalow and drive a big car, while ‘they’ travel
in public transport and put up in a grumpy flat). But the question remains,
weren’t we brought up by our parents to achieve every bit of this? We were sent
to the best of schools and colleges so that we would reach a point where we are
right now. Success always comes with a
price tag, and one cannot hanker for a bargain if one wants it desperately. The
price is leaving behind people who once meant the world to us, and for whom our
phone calls and occasional visits become the greatest pleasures.
The ‘empty nest syndrome’ which was once associated with the
west, is a depressing reality in India today.
Parents have got used to it; they even bang their chests accentuating
their children’s accomplishments in the corporate world. There is also the
reality that parents stubbornly refuse to move in with their child in different
city, in spite of knowing that living together would make life easy for all of
them.
The ‘young India’ has little space for the elders. Well past
their prime to contribute to the growth story, they guard the nests in the hope
that someday the children would return.
There are no easy answers or quick fix solutions to this problem. But ‘Piku’ might stir someone’s conscience;
inspire a kindred soul, to come home before it’s too late.
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